Kitchen Nightmares

There are some niggly things one can live with. A sticky door, or squeeky floorboard. In our case the biggest niggle has been the cooker and hob. In theory our kitchen is quite an expensive bit of kit. Moben cabinets and built in Neff appliances. All the upmarket mod cons don't make a bit of difference when they are neglected. That's what has happened to the dung heap diner. The fridge didn't last a week when we moved in, although it was home to a new form of life it had to go.

The gas hob has chunks of enamel missing, the pizeo starter has long since sparked its last, and the thing flares like an Algerian gas field. Not to mention the burners are so corroded that I've had to bore out the vent holes on more than one ocassion just to get the gas to light. It also had a nasty habit of going out with the supposed safety cut out failing to stop the gas flow. The cooker too was on its last legs. The door seals had gone, it tripped the whole house when ever you turned on the fan + heat at the same time, the temperature was as variable as the weather. Basically it was fit for grilling and b*gger all else.

Today that all changed with the arrival of a new cooker and ceramic hob. We were expecting delivery between 7 and 11. Who the hell delivers appliances at 7am on a Saturday? Most people know how this works. Its the same for everyone from the Sky installer to the delivery van. They always arrive at 5 minutes before the end of the time slot so you've wasted 4 hours waiting with baited breath for them to show up. Well not these guys. At 06:40 the bell rang and there they were, early, on a Saturday. They could have had me sign for a caged yak and I wouldn't have noticed until the first cup of coffee kicked in.

The hob from hell. Note the lighter we've had to use to start the thing.

The electrically challenged oven. The thing was held in place by one tiny screw into the edge of the cabinet. Luckily the grease and gunk had welded it in place to keep it from falling on the floor. Note the time on the clock. Too bloody early in the morning.

The old hob was also welded in place by grease. It took a chisel to pry it out of its hole in the counter top. A few minutes with the jig saw to enlarge the hole slightly and voila.

3 hours later and the hob is in place and working. The microwave shelf has been moved over the coffee machines. (former home of the life spawning fridge) The cooker is up and ready to prepare something better than the burnt offerings the old one supplied.

One more bit of dung removed from the heap.